**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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