just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
