I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
