so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
