next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
