Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
