why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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