too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
