Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
