grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
