What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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