I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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