The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
