ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
