Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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