Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
