Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
