i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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