didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
