I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
420 ftw
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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