We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
