dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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