I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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