My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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