Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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