I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
