she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
