is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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