Do you still have your period?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
