nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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