Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
