She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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