Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize