I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
