i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
