They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
