my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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