I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
