Christians are straight up FREAKS
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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