Me too!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
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I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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Goodbee
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
