can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
