i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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