Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
