This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
