So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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