youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
