I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
