last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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