what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
