he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
