Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
