Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
