We need to rekindle our bromance
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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