Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
that is very illegal...i love you.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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