Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
