he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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