It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize