toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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