so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
