he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so let's talk penis.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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