White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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