Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
