Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize